Festive blow as Turkeys to get right to vote for Christmas
It is believed the Government will formally announce later this week that Turkeys are to be given the right to vote for Christmas. The news follows a European Court of Rights ruling that, as they have...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Aung San Suu Kyi tells tabloid press she really isn’t ready to start dating
Burmese pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi today told the British press that she hasn’t any plans to start dating, and to stop asking her, please. Suu Kyi, a widow, says that she intends to focus...
View ArticlePrisoners promise not to run off after voting
Fears that prisoners in the UK will simply run off after posting their voting slip in the ballot box have forced the Government to re-think proposals to give inmates the vote. ‘We have concerns that...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Hilary Swank slams Kadyrov’s party as ‘pure torture’
Hilary Swank, the Oscar-winning actress who has come in for sharp criticism from human rights groups for attending a party in the Chechen capital Grozny hosted by Ramzan Kadyrov the country’s...
View ArticleClik here to view.
UN stands by as Jubilee is inflicted on nation
In possibly the worst case of its kind in history, an entire nation has had a Jubilee inflicted upon it over an extended period while the rest of the world stood by. Yet again, the ability of the...
View ArticleUK poor people must do more to help kill foreign poor people, says Defence...
Defence Secretary Philip Hammond says that poor people in Britain should do more to help to kill poor people in other countries by taking a cut in their welfare benefits. ‘We have to look at the...
View ArticleAbu Qatada officially ‘harder to remove than Hitler’
Experts have confirmed that at 8 years of trying to deport Muslim cleric Abu Qatada – compared to the the second world war’s 6 year duration – it was easier to kick Hitler out of Western Europe than...
View ArticleChimp rejects US citizenship
In a landmark decision, by mankind’s closest living relative, chimpanzees have voted overwhelming to reject North American naturalization. The Nonhuman Rights Project is appealing for ‘Tommy’ the chimp...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Stopping torture not yet on US’s New Year resolution list
Despite years of promising to cut back on excessive water-boarding binges, the US is reluctant to add torture to its list of ‘Do Nots’ for 2015. Like most people in January, the CIA’s counter-terrorism...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Despots stunned as UK electorate actually votes to get rid of human rights
Despots from around the world have expressed shock as the UK electorate vote for the one party that wishes to scrap their human rights in an open and free election. At their annual gathering, leaders...
View ArticleBBC journalists get VIP tour of flagship Qatar prison
The Qatari government, keen to improve its reputation on human rights ahead of the 2020 World Cup, has allowed BBC journalists to witness its new detention arrangements at first hand. In a new era of...
View ArticleScooby Doo kids ‘beat suspects into confession’
The crime fighting kids made famous by the Scooby Doo TV series secured false confessions through violence and intimidation according to new papers released this week. The claim has been made by...
View ArticleClik here to view.
‘Two-weeks-in-the-sun’ clause discovered in Declaration of Human Rights
A major rethink of the nation’s finances is underway today after UN lawyers discovered a forgotten clause in the Declaration of Human Rights, enshrining forever the entitlement of all to have a...
View ArticleMother’s question “Do you want more sprouts?” breached human rights convention
A Wakefield mother’s intense questioning about whether her son wanted some more sprouts breached the European convention on human rights a courts has confirmed. The son, Dave Jenkins, who was visiting...
View ArticleGove urges: ‘Cut EU red-tape so we can legalize midget ownership’
Always putting a positive spin on Brexit, Michael Gove has insisted that citizens may soon own up to 3 little persons provided they are kept on a leash when in public areas and are registered with the...
View ArticleTheresa May’s dancing sparks international protest
The Prime Minister stunned a group of unsuspecting South African children, with physical contortions that were either the death knell of contemporary dance, the mating ritual of hippopotamus or a cry...
View ArticleEntire fake government found in China
Following hot on the heels of a fake McDonalds, fake Apple store and a fake factory making imitation plastic, the latest audacious scam has been uncovered in Bejing. World leaders were shocked to find...
View Article
